Journey Through the Trauma

I’m sad today. I spent the day drawing… Practicing drawing my wife and I as comic book characters for a comic strip and graphic novel I have planned. We wanted to avoid all mention of what was going on today. Then, when I had reached burnout, I jumped on Reddit, for something unrelated, and I saw on r/interestingasfuck that Elon Musk gave the fucking Nazi salute. What the actual fuck is happening in our country?! Then my incredible wife goes on TikTok and gets all the tea, so to speak. And I hear Trump say, “Officially, there are now only two genders in this country, male and female.” Well, fuck me, right?? What am I now? Illegal? Imaginary? My ID and Passport invalid? The comic strip I’m working on uses being a werewolf and a vampire as an allegory for being two-spirit. And I’m pretty sure I’m going to have Lycanthropy, or being a Werewolf itself be an allegory for being trans. It’s not all fleshed out yet. But I know some how it’s really important to write/create. Even if no one re...

Hey, everyone, it’s A.K. again. I really need to get better at writing consistently. Life has been pretty OKish. I’ve been dealing a lot with my mental health, Finally! As previously written, and in the title of this blog, I’m dealing with a lot of trauma. Mostly from my mom, but other places too. I have BPD, a lot of anxiety, cPTSD, ADD, possible Autism, “Broadcasting Thoughts”, intrusive thoughts, and who knows what else. I just started therapy last Friday and have appointments for once a week going forward. I deal with a lot of self-sabotage as well. I’ve always done it, but I’ve never cared before. But now I have an amazing wife, my dream girl since middle school, and I don’t want to self-sabotage anymore. I don’t want to destroy what I have. I’ve literally never been happier than I am now; than I have been in the past three years. And I’m so afraid of destroying it, it’s paralyzing me. I actually care this time. I’ve never cared before. With anyone in the past, I’d just go down th...